The Bored Soothsayer 4

The Bored Soothsayer

… talks about Alfred (4)

A statement everyone must remember while reading this text: Alfred is a very good friend of mine. He is very intelligent, very supportive, very… sleepy. In addition to that, I just know that he would one day love to read something about himself. Here’s to my friend, Alfred.

Today, I again am bored. What’s new? I know I have caused a leak on a container of laughing gas in my last entry, which have reached a couple of my readers here on facebook and wordpress. And I don’t intend to do the same with today’s entry, because bear in mind that we’re talking of such a very good, smart, amazing, friend. Shit! I’m running out of adjectives for you (that’s why I decided to erase them. HAHA)

Anyway, I know Alfred has been waiting for this because I promised him this one. But I’m not a genie. I play a soothsayer, and as someone who can see the future, this time is perfect. So now it is time to reveal proofs of Alfred’s goodness, how much he wanted this entry and et cetera:

START OF CONVERSATION

He always makes a point to remember you in the weirdest ways (HAHAHA)

alfred_durst05: i need to make samok you

triwe_op1: hahahahaha salamat!

alfred_durst05: okei

triwe_op1: game

alfred_durst05: hindi ako nagbuzz kasi i don’t need you ———- at lumabas ang tunay na kulay

alfred_durst05: haha’

alfred_durst05: siyet

alfred_durst05: savaw

triwe_op1: aryt

alfred_durst05: aryt

He only admits that he is updated with things around him to his friends:

alfred_durst05: panoorin mo

alfred_durst05: ung brazilian

alfred_durst05: na scandal ———- why of all the news, this caught his attention? (HAHAHA)

alfred_durst05: meron na

triwe_op1: hahahahaha uv been watching those na pla! hahaa

alfred_durst05: opcors

triwe_op1: hahahhaha “pervert of the highest kind” hahahaha )

alfred_durst05: lol

alfred_durst05: salamat salamat

alfred_durst05: napakabait mo dude

triwe_op1: always

triwe_op1: never doubted

triwe_op1: )

alfred_durst05: yes

alfred_durst05: pero panget ung vid

triwe_op1: clap clap clap :-bd

alfred_durst05: B-)

But then, he always manages to be himself — bored and boring (LAUGHS)

triwe_op1: what’s up fred? unsay bag-o sa imo?

alfred_durst05: wala

triwe_op1: boring ka pa rin talaga. In addition to bored.

alfred_durst05: lol

alfred_durst05: boring pala ako?

alfred_durst05: okei okei ———- Inamin din.

alfred_durst05: sarap eh

alfred_durst05: relax lang

alfred_durst05: walang ginagawa

alfred_durst05: lol

Alfred and his thoughts on blogging about him (Read between the lines HAHAHA)

triwe_op1: yes. this conversation is interesting. I myt blog about this one. hahahah )

alfred_durst05: aw

alfred_durst05: WAG

alfred_durst05: ANSAMA MO MAGBLOG ———- a paradox :)

alfred_durst05: nabasa ko ung kay stan

alfred_durst05: isiyet ka

triwe_op1: Ndi naman ako masama. ———- a euphemism

alfred_durst05: soo meaaannnn

alfred_durst05: MEAANN ———- trying to spell “mean” again

triwe_op1: lemme refer u back to what u jst said a few mins ago

alfred_durst05: ay

alfred_durst05: SERG

alfred_durst05: OKAY NA

alfred_durst05: aalis pala ako

triwe_op1: this is what u said:—–> Alfred de Leon: napakabait mo dude

alfred_durst05: )

alfred_durst05: tol

alfred_durst05: CGE

alfred_durst05: CGE NALANG

triwe_op1: o cge… natakot ka lang na-iblog kta

triwe_op1: hahahhaa

triwe_op1: )

alfred_durst05: ISHLOW

alfred_durst05: ndi mo nagets

alfred_durst05: OKEI KOKEI

triwe_op1: uu… hahahhaa:))

triwe_op1: Cge see u sa moon!

alfred_durst05: COOL

triwe_op1: wait and see…. )

Alfred on pursuing a different career

alfred_durst05: cge

alfred_durst05: para sayo

alfred_durst05: mag astronaut ako

triwe_op1: oo… alien na kasi ako

alfred_durst05: oo

alfred_durst05: i agree

Alfred and his foreign language

triwe_op1: merci beaucoup

alfred_durst05: leche

triwe_op1: why? como ca va?

alfred_durst05: teka teka

alfred_durst05: aalahanin ko foreign lang ko

alfred_durst05: hmmmm

triwe_op1: french

triwe_op1: )

alfred_durst05: jap foreign lang ko eh

alfred_durst05: magkkaintindhan ba tayo ng ganoon?

triwe_op1: ahhh. magkaintndhan kau ng mga student ko. )

alfred_durst05: oo

alfred_durst05: sign language

alfred_durst05: astig

triwe_op1: ah…. yeah

Alfred on blogging again

triwe_op1: thanks for this conversation. This will be great material )

alfred_durst05: lol

alfred_durst05: takte

alfred_durst05: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

alfred_durst05: ^:)^

triwe_op1: i won’t write anything bad. Im not like you )

alfred_durst05: lol

alfred_durst05: asa

alfred_durst05: agaiinn..

alfred_durst05: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Alfred  answering a very decent question, and et cetera (eat your heart out)

triwe_op1: Eto nlng: anong gusto mong malaman ng mga tao tungkol sau? )

alfred_durst05: sps

alfred_durst05: sos ———- this says a lot about him

alfred_durst05: wala

triwe_op1: aryt. And then I’l make something up )

alfred_durst05: sos

alfred_durst05: sos

alfred_durst05: sos

alfred_durst05: sos

alfred_durst05: sos

alfred_durst05: sos

triwe_op1: SOS? as in help o the different sos?

triwe_op1: huh?

alfred_durst05: oo

alfred_durst05: sos

triwe_op1: sos aryt

triwe_op1: i’ll be writing that down

alfred_durst05: aw

triwe_op1: sorry fred. Im just bored.

alfred_durst05: labo pa din

alfred_durst05: takte

alfred_durst05: wooooooo

triwe_op1: thats a good one… You’re gving urself a bad image )

alfred_durst05: ha?

alfred_durst05: ket?

triwe_op1: wala lang

alfred_durst05: you so labo

alfred_durst05: meehnn

triwe_op1: labo? me?

triwe_op1: please…. hahaha

alfred_durst05: yes

triwe_op1: sige labo mo rin hahaha para fair

alfred_durst05: oo

alfred_durst05: i agree

alfred_durst05: )

triwe_op1: yey

Alfred, the paranoid (note that this was the time during the third entries of the BS)

alfred_durst05: siyet you

alfred_durst05: i saw someting

triwe_op1: what?

alfred_durst05: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

triwe_op1: what did u see? )

alfred_durst05: SOMETHING

alfred_durst05: may nagpop up sa baba

alfred_durst05: shet

triwe_op1: awwww…

triwe_op1: unsa diay to?

alfred_durst05: WALA WALA

triwe_op1: paranoid!

alfred_durst05: OO

alfred_durst05: CGE

alfred_durst05: PARANOID NA

triwe_op1: paranoid… at…. malabo!

alfred_durst05: OO

alfred_durst05: MALABO PA

alfred_durst05: lol

alfred_durst05: babasahin ko un mamaya ———- babasahin din pala.

alfred_durst05: takte

alfred_durst05: wala ka taalaga  magawa

triwe_op1: o cge… uu… walang magawa… )

triwe_op1: pasenxa

alfred_durst05: noooooo

alfred_durst05: why meeee

triwe_op1: geh… alis muna ako… para may magawa na naman

triwe_op1: hahahaha

triwe_op1: you?

alfred_durst05: okei okei

triwe_op1: how xur na you? hahaha

triwe_op1: )

triwe_op1: feeler

triwe_op1: )

alfred_durst05: okei

END OF CONVERSATION

WORD TALLY:

JUST KIDDING.

PREDICTIONS: Alfred will either go to the comments box and write something OR message me on YM to thank me. Others will soon read this and try to laugh, even though this isn’t funny. In addition, I have some pieces of advice to Alfred’s girl friend (should I write the plural) or soon-to-be (insert proper name here): Never ever attempt to wake him up, and never show him the news because he always focuses on the you-know-what (please add definition here after smiley) . If you want to flatter him, try blogging about him.  And if you really want to understand him, LEARN his foreign language. See Fred? I don’t write anything bad.

… sorry Fred, I know I’m a good friend that’s why I did this. I know you wanted this. (Laughs.)

Fourth Entry: Alfred Justin de Leon— A visit by you to us (what?). It’s the only kapalit for a delete.

Finally, kasabot ka’g joke? Plus P.S. This is all a joke. But please, define joke.

The Bored Soothsayer 3

The Bored Soothsayer

… talks about Shalom 2007 and Sir Pontejo (3)

I’m not on a mission to write about all my friends. It would have to depend whether you’re interesting or not. Criteria please. Nahhh!

Anyway, I scanned my yearbook and found a lot of oddities. For one, I’m not sure if I should be its editor in chief. I mean, I don’t think I deserve it because I didn’t really work for it. Well, except for the photos you see that I try to cut things out. But I must say, the yearbook was almost a complete mess. ALMOST.

But then I also found some things that can remind us so well of what happened in high school, and errr… just refer to the photos. I got to stop blabbering, or else Alfred would have something to say again. And yeah, I promised I’d write about him soon. But that has got to wait. I can’t put my life on hold for such nonsense crap. HA-HA-HA. (Who’s malabo now?)

To my friends, reminisce. 

Look at the middle photo with Alfred, Brandon, Tobby, Charles, and Cecilio. But wait, there’s another one with Tobby, Hechel, Cyril, Charles, Alfred, and Adam.

But no one was able to beat this: Hechel’s face

Have you seen the class Zorro, yet?

Arjay’s the name. J Leftmost. And Ankur’s reply? Fuck you. hahaha

The next two would be achievement absurdity.

THE SSG picture:

The Quest Picture: Poor kid.

The lacking Class Prophecy and Last Will and Testament. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk

What about Garci’s forehead, Arjay’s descriptions (which are all synonymous in a way), and Dan’s… errr… days. Hahaha

Usually, parents would be the ones to get the certificate of their child on stage, but there was one in the yearbook that was… different

What do you remember about our previous principal? The Bored Soothsayer: She looks like a tardy slip to me.

What’s so wrong with these 3? The Bored Soothsayer: I dunno. You decide.

What about these 2? The Bored Soothsayer: Errr. Lovers?

What about Mrs. Salazar? The Bored Soothsayer: Oh my god! Physics. (I remember how she would say this with choreography)

What about Sir Lim? The Bored Soothsayer: Debit and credit and the saliva he transferred to Kay-kay’s paper. EEEEWWWW Swine Flu

And finally, what about Mr. Pontejo? The Bored Soothsayer: The Joker!

Predictions: Sir Pontejo might be the next Joker… if he decides to grow his hair longer, color it, and put some chalk on his face, some charcoal, and then put on some yellow false teeth (but first he has to take out all his teeth), and then as a finishing touch, he can take some of Mrs. Allen’s lipstick and go crazy. As for the others, I don’t have any predictions.

… sorry yearbook and Sir P., I just had to do it. I had no choice. (Laughs.)

Third Entry: Yearbook and Sir P. — $5 payment. I accept gifts. J

I’m just bored and I miss a lot about high school. Truth be told, this is all a joke.

BUT DEFINE JOKE.

P.S. I predict you will be looking at your yearbook and then check these photos because mine are too blurry.

The Bored Soothsayer

… talks about Stanley (2)

Let me tell you about my other friend aside from Sandi and Jereene.

Today, let’s talk about the person whose status messages and other “greatness” (take note of such euphemism) in yahoo messenger and facebook have caught my attention while I was in my busiest today:  STANLEY.

All right. Why again am I writing about him? He is a jerk. He is undeniably smart witty.

STAN and his fetish on sex videos

Well, recently there was this sex video of Katrina Halili and Hayden Cam Kho that spread over the Internet. And boy was he in such delight. He watched all most? some of the videos. What an addict! And just like everybody else (except me hahaha), he was singing “Careless Whisper” unceasingly while playing ppppoker face.

STAN and his thoughts on AIDS

In his current YM status message he shared an irony: “90 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask… A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom. ”

Nothing to add… puzzled by no one wanting to wear a condom. I was thinking why would women wear one? But then again, I figured if I said that everyone would think I’m bo-bo (say this with an accent, por favor) Oops! I suddenly remembered the Vagina monologues and all the different kinds of moaning. How would a vagina moan if it were wearing a condom? HA-HA-HA!

STAN and the Prediction of the Bored Soothsayer

Based on his thoughts and current fetish, I warn those people who will be acquainted with such (laughs at Senator Bong Revilla’s comment: “Pervert of the highest kind” HAHAHAHAHA)… with such… yeah. He is a dangerous thinker.  So to all his girlfriends, and soon-to-be “preys”: (Laughs) Just make sure that Stanley is … himself. Moreover, be smart.  (Of course, why would you date someone who’s dumb, Stan? That is if you ever go on dates. Hahaha) Also, never make him join a singing competition, or else take your last breath with his version of “Careless Whisper” (Aren’t these “napkin” brands? Just assuming.) Basketball is alright, though this connotes something… else. And then please… just bear with him, and be 10x smarter than he is.

… sorry Stan, I just had to do it. I had no choice. (Laughs.)

Second Entry: Stanley — $5 if you want me to delete this. I accept gifts. J

Finally, Peace. I’m bored and I promised that I’d write about your greatness. But then, this is all a joke.

BUT DEFINE JOKE.

P.S. This is for your guilty pleasure!

Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind
there’s no comfort in the truth
pain is all you’ll find

Should’ve known better

I feel so unsure
as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
as the music dies, something in your eyes
calls to mind the silver screen
and all its sad good-byes

I’m never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it’s easy to pretend
I know you’re not a fool

Should’ve known better than to cheat a friend
and waste the chance that I’ve been given
so I’m never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you

Time can never mend
the careless whispers of a good friend
to the heart and mind
ignorance is kind
there’s no comfort in the truth
pain is all you’ll find

I’m never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it’s easy to pretend
I know you’re not a fool

Should’ve known better than to cheat a friend
and waste this chance that I’ve been given
so I’m never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you

Never without your love

Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it’s better this way
We’d hurt each other with the things we’d want to say

We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But noone’s gonna dance with me
Please stay

And I’m never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it’s easy to pretend
I know you’re not a fool

Should’ve known better than to cheat a friend
and waste the chance that I’ve been given
so I’m never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you

(Now that you’re gone) Now that you’re gone
(Now that you’re gone) What I did’s so wrong
that you had to leave me alone

THIS TIME I CHOSE ANONYMITY

Sometimes we wish we could just rewind time and then press play again to do everything differently. Sometimes we just wanted to look back just so we can try to relive the memory again. But most often than not, the past can never be the present, thus, no matter how hard we try to bring the past back, it will be and always will be different from yesterday.

It may be with the people you’re with, the setting where everything’s happening, the time of the day, or just the way you are. Everything can change: physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and all the tiny details we think could make one second perfect. You can never present yourself as a perfectionist because no matter how good your plan is, something will always change. And that is something planners don’t know.

If I would enumerate all the changes that had happened, I’m afraid I would be hurting a lot of people. I’m afraid that my thoughts can be cruel, and just make the person crumble right before others. But I don’t mind. I don’t have to name names. They know who the fuck they are.

All that is there to say is: “You’re the worst scum I’ve ever met! I loathe you.”

IMAGINATION

One of my professors has said that imagination is the key to innovation. And so I wondered what kind of innovation would my imagination result to? Hmmmm…. Have you thought about yours today?

Yes, imagination does bring you to “new heights”. I agree. We do that all the time especially when we’re daydreaming, right? ……. Here we go again. Sometimes we just really have to separate imagination, from ambition… Ha! Ha! Ha!

Stop Reading.

After this line.

Learn Subtitle English in a Jiffy!

I wish I knew how to hack a computer…

I totally wished I was a hacker and could get all the information I need to my desire.

Well, if I did I would make a terrible leader.

Or, would I?

Please give it some thought.

Just please tell me how bored I am. For days I have been in hiding doing nothing but to talk to absolute strangers and teaching them how to speak in decent English. Thank God, I’ve not been too crazy or else I could’ve taught them something they could use when they go to f******* America! (That’s not even supposed to be censored) Like fuck off or let’s talk about this shit. For days I have been tormenting them with an exercise called synonym match, and I don’t know why the hell I can’t teach them shit as a replacement for “matter”. And they would ask, “What’s this shit about?” and I would be totally blown away by such improvement. Clap. Clap. Clap.

Oh well, I shouldn’t have written that. I wish I could just put strikethroughs in all those, but then, there’s one quote I loved in Ringu that said “Don’t look back!” And so I will follow it, or risk seeing mini-Sadako freaking me out in my sentences, with her hair slowly eating up the letters and then, okay stop being so imaginative for once!

………Okay, all is well. They should be.

Recently I watched DVD (I don’t want to share the title because I decided not to advertise today.) with my niece. Instead of being amused by the story, we laughed so hard because of the subtitle. I mean, who’s the dumb guy who put them? Oh my, did I just admit that we bought a pirated DVD? “Don’t look back!”

So here it goes: we all know that right and rite sound the same, but as for the meaning, what happened? Everybody Many people know how to spell “right”! But then this guy (girl or gay, even) must have skipped grade school, or perhaps kindergarten, or missed out on the lesson about it, or just totally forgot about the correct spelling!!! I always hated people who are bobo incompetent. “That’s not the rite thing to do!” Oh my, what the hell is he (she, it) trying to say? Tell me! I need some help. Please translate the following Anyway, if you can’t beat them, join them! I encourage you to learn Subtitle English with me!

English- English	Subtitle English
“Excuse me on the right”	“Suit on the right” (is she wearing a suit?)
“The best thing about them is that you can shorten them and wear them again”	“Best think about can short litter more again” (yeah. Yeah. Just say yeah.)
“I love your thong by the way”	“I love your flower by the way” (talk about euphemism!)
“It’s a little upsetting, don’t you think?”	“Is really upside down, right” (no, I guess you are)
“You think I’m kidding?”	“You are not kidding terms” (yes, you’re right we’re not!)
“So when the bride comes in and she makes her giant grand entrance…”	“So, the bride comes in, she made a giant matrix…” (and saw Neo?)
“Every bride loves her accessories”	“Every maid likes this” (sure they do!)

And at the end of the day, I call myself an English tutor, and I couldn’t even understand English subtitles. What a shame! But more than that, I pity those people who just rely on subtitles to understand because to tell them the truth, subtitles are good liars.

With love,

Serj and Icey

The Bored Soothsayer

No. I’m not crazy. I’m just bored, and recently challenged by someone who writes good blogs, and look at me — a lazy ass who describes himself as a writer. What a shame really. I mean, who would ever believe that I’m a writer. Frustration, I guess. But I would not like to call it like that. I said I am a writer. Believe it.

Define Writing These Days...

Define Writing These Days… I know perfectly well that notebooks and pens (or pencils) are somewhat obsolete. Who would write in those today? We have computers. We’re in the year 2000 plus, we have laptops to be our slaves when we want to scribble down some… stuff.

Okay, sometimes when I’m bored and challenged I end up writing just about anything that comes out of my mouth. Yes, I’m talking as I’m writing today. I just can’t let it be silent in my mind. Define CRAZY. Am I?

Yesterday I decided write about my friends, Sandi and Jereene, and yes: Just because I’m bored. And I figured that it would be nice to play soothsayer for a day so I made some predictions, rather recommendations, for their future “FLING”. Naaa… I don’t know how to call it, really. I just liked how it sounds so “unofficial” and yeah… Here it goes:

The Bored Soothsayer

… talks about Sandi and Jereene (1)

Boredom is always an escape for me to do the craziest things. One time, I decided to be absent in class. And later did I find out that they had a quiz. I’m not really the grade-conscious type of student, but every student would know when he needs to take a quiz. I guess you know what I mean. The other time, I decided to suddenly invite my friends to go to the mall just to splurge on our guiltiest of all guilty pleasures, food. And after the food trip, we were all left penniless! Well, probably just enough for us to survive the school week, but as for extras? We had to say no to all temptations.

Today is no different from those times. I am bored. But unlike the previous crazy attacks, I would love to share some things to you about the people I have known for quite some time. Be ready!

Let’s first talk about Sandi. I guess out of all the people I know, Sandi would be one of those firsts that I met outside my family circle. She was one of those firsts whom I met in school. In Kindergarten, both of us would sneak out of the room (after tutor time, or when Mrs. Araquil would fall asleep) and buy the candy, “White Rabbit”. Oh boy we love it! I remember that we would stock all the candies we bought under our desks just so her mom wouldn’t see it. Aside from White Rabbit, we would also indulge in Cloudy, Cloud 9, Big Bang, Airheads, and Fox’s. But did you know that when Sandi craves, i.e. Jolly Sundae, she would really go for it? It was before or after our high school graduation when Sandi wanted some Jollibee ice cream, and almost instantaneously (what an exaggeration!) she and her father went to buy some. She’s the type: “when she wants it, she’d do anything to have it.” Yes, she may be a threat, and a scary one at that! So to all her suitors, or to her boyfriend: (I always tease her that she isn’t single, but who knows? I don’t see her now! Laughs.) Make sure that you give Sandi what she wants, or else, she might just break it off with you!

I told you I was bored.

Anyway, let’s go to another person, Jereene.

Kring-kring is her alias, and she loves to sing. She has joined various competitions when we were still in Hope. As far as I could remember, she joined two contests. But the funniest thing that I know about Kring-kring is that whenever she joins a dance contest, she almost never fails not to join the final dance! When we were seniors in our high school, she became “leader/ head choreographer” of a group. She worked hard for it, but she wasn’t able to dance at the presentation. The same happened when she went to college. She failed to join the cheer dance when her group performed. This was all because she got sick. But don’t pity her. She always knows how to make a comeback! But she is a prima donna because she can be demanding and difficult to please at times. So to all her boyfriends, and suitors: (Laughs again.) Just make sure that Jereene is pleased with your actions, and give in to her demands or else, she might just break it off with you!

I guess I really am bored.

… sorry Sandi and Kring, I just had to do it.

I had no choice. (Laughs.)

First Entries: Sandi and Kring— $5 each. I accept gifts.

Finally, Peace guys. What’s a bored guy got to do, ey?

P.S. This is all a joke. But please, define joke. 